again

out of the blue came the sound of my tears
falling down and you saw them but said not a word
out of the rain comes the rainbow of shame
but the clouds in the sky will not cry for me

something i lost can't be regained
the words taken back can't be spoken again
somehow i trusted the wrong kind of friend
a friend that won't come around again
but once more i'm proven wrong
because here you come
again

out of the ashes rises the phoenix
who tells you a lie but doesn't really mean it
out of the silence comes the sound of death
reaching out, part of me comes to grip with it

something i've treasured is stolen away
the words they yell are things people say
somehow i kept the wrong company
the company i won't let in again
but once more i'm proven wrong
because here they come
again

out of the embers comes the glow
something that tells you what you don't know
out of the flames turning to gold
comes the fiery dawn, leaning to the morn

something i've said can't be heard
the words i've written are starting to blur
somehow i got the wrong idea
an idea i won't think again
but i won't be proven wrong
because it won't come
again

dear journal

broken trust
you expect respect?
like a little pool of blood at my feet
i'm not to be touched
don't bother me right now
i don't want to be disturbed
i'm busy being angry at you
why don't you believe me?
i told you at least four times
even after you'd left
this sucks, damn it
i feel like i want to scream
i want to cry
i'm losing something
my mind?
my dignity
the words come faster than the pen can handle
you can't handle it
the pressure of knowing me
of thinking you do anyway
but you don't know me
or you would have believed me
when i told you the first time
damn

i heart it.

singing offkey? yeah - totally worth it. it makes life so much more fun, y'know? heh.

'nor' is a funny-looking word

so is 'looking'. it appears as though it should be said 'loo-king', and not 'lu-king'... huh.

and english is a funny language. did you know that technically it is a 'teutonic' language, compiled from 70% of latin vocabulary and 30% of german vocabulary? (Or 30% latin/70% german - can't quite remember.)

plus we have influences from greek, japanese, french, spanish, and probably every other language under the sun. (and did you know, that to non-english speaking people, we sound like swedish people do to us? - we sound like swedes... only without the ups-and-downs - i suppose you could call them dipthongs... - of our voices. huh.)

and now we who live in this country called the united states of america have created our own language, which has been aptly named "american". it's been scientifically proven, through various studies and whatnot - we don't even speak english anymore people! not only did we leave the country, but we left the language behind too. i'm not too sure how i feel about this... O_o

i, however, beg to set myself apart from those babbling citizens (no offense), and instead recognize myself as one of the few left in this country who retain the pure knowledge of the english language... if 'pure' is really a word that can be used to describe the conglomeration english really is...

huh.

hey! i'm smart! sometimes...

so i was talking to my sister katy online, and something was mentioned in our conversation about wanting to know everything (or something to that extent), and i suddenly got this idea, and i came up with the following quote:

"We want to be ready to capture the universe in our hands, but we know that compared to the universe, our hands could not hope to hold it all. Thus, we are each one of us given our own small portion of the universe to hold, and when we find the right people who each have their own universe in their hands, we may come together and unlock all the secrets. But until then, we are as butterflies, only able to land on one flower at a time, though we wish to alight upon the entire field."

so now i'm all like, "hey, i'm smart!" (well, sometimes) - but really, it feels good to randomly be able to make up quotes like that out of the blue and have them actually make sense and apply to daily life! yay! it's fun fun fun. :)

i also made up something about beautiful cows in a field at midnight on a thursday... but we won't get into that... yeah....