i got blindsided today...

... by a dentist.

let me tell you my tragic tale... (cue sweeping fantasy-themed music)

prologue
*while driving in the car*
mom: "it's just a topical filling, they said they probably won't even have to numb you or anything."
me: "good, because i hate needles."

chapter one
i had a dentist appointment this morning, at 10 AM. so to be on the safe side, i showed up at about five 'til, 1) so i wouldn't have to wait very long, and 2) to be a little early, but not so early that i had to wait around for, say, a half hour...

luckily, i still got to wait until 10:30 to go into my appointment. (good thing i got there early, right?) so, after i got into the little room off the side of the hall, in walks the dentist's aide.

"have you had restorations before?" she asks, putting on some latex gloves.

seeing as i had no clue what a 'restoration' was, i replied, "uh... no...?"

"so this will be your first one, then?"

(realization dawns) "oh, you mean my filling? oh, no, i've had those before."

"okay then."

and then she's gone, leaving me to wait another fifteen minutes, forlornly slumped in the chair, not even caring if they think i'm sleeping - i just want to get DONE.

so, after those fifteen minutes, in which i think i actually may have been on the brink of dozing off... in waltzes the dentist (who will remain nameless to protect the...him).

chapter two
"good MORNING anna!" he says to me, while seating himself in nice little swivel chair. "sorry to ah, wake you..."

i was past jokes at that point, and was only able to muster a half-hearted, "ah-ha... no, i'm definitely awake."

"okay, good." he then proceeded to mention something about more snow, i gave another half-hearted reply, and then he set to work. "open up..." he brought out his pokey-tool, tapped the offending tooth (which apparently had a cavity) twice, and then said the worst six (seven if you count the contraction as two) words in the universe:

"all right, let's numb you up."

let the freak out begin!

then, oh, he's just getting a q-tip with this glob of stuff on it - okay, it's just a topicalll WHOA WHAT IS HE DOING WITH THAT NEEDLE?! yes ladies and gentlegerms, he had a TWO INCH LONG needle sneakily stowed away in his left hand, while his right was deceptively smearing something around my tooth.

then, he took the needle and *CENSORED DUE TO GRAPHIC NATURE* while shaking my cheek; then he removed the horrid accoutrement (the needle, for those who speak american) and proceeded to *CENSORED* in a different spot, still shaking my cheek.

let the sobbing begin.

his parting words, before he left me for ANOTHER ten minutes: "yeah, that's not fun, is it?"

then he patted my shoulder, and was gone.

chapter three
the pain in my left cheek starts to subside as the side of my mouth begins to feel the effects of whatever it was he injected into me. as i sit, staring out the window, i start to formulate plans in my mind: if he doesn't come back within five minutes i'm getting up out of this chair and refusing to come back ever again... i've lost all sense of amiableness towards this man... nobody gets to jab anyone with a needle without warning like that... cruel, sadistic little *CENSORED DUE TO DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGE*...

oh, look - it's been four minutes. aaaaand yes! he's back.

"you all numbed up, anna?"

with as much congeniality as i could muster, i muttered, "pretty much."

"then let's get to work."

i won't give you the details of what happened next - it was your typical drilling, filling, shoot some antibacterial-soap-in-the-patient's-mouth kind of dentist appointment.

and then it was over; they gave me some nasty "all-natural" (granted, it was actually) mouthwash to get rid of the nasty soap-taste... frankly i think i would have been better off without the mouthwash, but the entire day had already been shot to pieces, so why not?

yeah, whatever...

"the numbing should be gone within an hour," the dentist told me, as a... parting... remark?

"okay," i said, knowing i would be blogging about this later (a.k.a. NOW).

so, i was admittedly annoyed when, two hours later, the left side of my mouth was still pretty darn numb. and this is exactly why i have sworn a vow that i will never go to the dentist. EVER. AGAIN... after my appointment on the 27th.

*sob*

doggone it...

it's quarter-to-seven in the morning. i'm awake. let me tell you why this is a problem.

my dog will not shut up. let me tell you why THIS is a problem.

she keeps me awake. or she wakes me up. at SIX IN THE MORNING.

repeat vicious cycle, etc., etc.

@_@

^^that's about what i look like right now.